Hey there. My name is Amy and I like to read webcomics. I’ve heard a lot about this one called Homestuck, but I have never actually read it. My friends have been urging me for a while to read it. I’m almost afraid to because they have been suffering from what I call Foaming at the Mouth Syndrome (or F@MS) ever since they started reading it. Still, I was curious and did some quick research. Apparently it’s a pretty big deal on the internet. From what little I know and how insanely popular it seems to be I decided to do a liveblog of my experience as I wade through this adventure. So now time for a list of things I know.

• The author is Andrew Hussie
• He updates everyday (sometimes multiple pages?!)
• There are trolls (they have a lot of fanart and cosplays I see)
• It’s about the apocalypse or something? 
• Characters die. A lot.
• There are tons of pages already.
• This is a bad idea.

Oh yeah, and since I have no idea what is going on please, please, please do not spoil for me. My friends have been very good about not being spoilery so I ask you to do the same. If I ask a question a long they way I don’t want you to answer it (unless the question is followed by me asking you to answer it). If you don’t know if what you want to say is spoilery or not don’t say anything because it probably is. This includes things like, “Oh I can’t wait until you get to the next part!” or telling me if anything I say is right/wrong.

O.K., I admit it. I giggled. I like the fact that this character is aware of (what I assume to be) our (the reader’s) insult. It breaks the fourth wall and I am a big fan of works that tear it apart. Somewhat of a reason why I enjoy webcomics so much because many of them do just that. Having characters climb out of the panels or address the readers amuses me to no end. O.K., back to reading. This is only the second page and apparently there are thousands?! I’m going to die in front of this computer before I finish this.

First off that sounds like a really dorky name and I love it. Second: LOOK THAT THAT LITTLE SMILE! John, you are adorable (though I do wonder what happened to your overbite).

Oh yeah, I didn’t mention this earlier, but on the last panel his shirt changed facial expression too. Is this going to happen more? Changing wardrobes is another thing I like in comics (I’m looking at you Nny).

Is that… a Ghost Buster’s 2 poster? This amuses me. As does the fact that he apparently likes really bad movies. I’m not familiar with these other posters, but I assume them to be from movies of equal or worse quality than GB2.

Why doe John have two cakes in his room? Forget they are in his room for a second and tell me why he gets two. That is absurd. Is one his birthday cake and the other a present from someone? Now back to the fact they are in his room. Was the kitchen too full to spare the space for these confections? This probably all doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but these are just little things I wonder.

John is sounding more and more like a dork with each page. He programs computers? He likes ghosts? He wants to be a magician? I can tell I am going to like this kid.

ARE THEY DETACHABLE?!

I thought it was just an art style, but he really has no arms?! He keeps them in his drawer chest? How does he open it without arms?! I AM CONFUSED!

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Hehe, “Pooplord”.

More fourth wall breakage. I love it.

Oh, so he does have arms and it was just an artistic choice to represent him without arms. I was getting his fake arms. Very funny Mr. Andrew Hussie. I can tell I am going to enjoy your jokes very much.

Then we are introduced to captchalogueing and I am slightly confused. Is this comic about a game where we (the reader) is the player and John is the player character? That’s why “we” were able to move his cake (and why it looked like a cursor)? That would be the sylladex is his inventory system. I’m guessing these cards are inventory slots. This should be interesting. Another interest point is chalked up to a Mr. Hussie.

Funny how John is just as confused as me with all this. Is he not aware of these things? Then why was he aware when “we” tried to name him something rude?

In here you keep an array of humorous and mystical ARTIFACTS, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MAGICIAN or a CUNNING PRANKSTER. 

You are neither of these things. 

AHAHAHAHA! So blunt. I LOVE IT! I am so glad I started reading this. The humor is just my kind.

COPY OF COLONEL SASSACRE’S DAUNTING TEXT OF MAGICAL FRIVOLITY AND PRACTICAL JAPERY

That sounds like a pretty rad book. I would read it.

So I was right about the inventory system. Man, he doesn’t have very many slots and it looks like it’s going to be difficult to access items after he picks them up.

I see you tempting people to buy that poster, Andrew Hussie. Don’t think I don’t!

O.K., this sylladex stuff is going to get more confusing… isn’t it? I understand it for now, but I have a feeling I soon will understand nothing when it comes to this inventory system. Also: JOHN STOPPING LOOKING AT YOUR DESK LIKE THAT!